Pygmy Hippopotamus

Names & Nicknames: Pygmy hippopotamus, Pygmy hippo

Size: Although their larger cousins, the common hippopotamus, are one of the largest land mammals on earth, the pygmy hippopotamus, as the name suggests, is a wee bit smaller! They are up to 1 metre tall, 1.7 metres long, and almost 300kg in weight, so they still weigh as much as a grand piano!

Smell: Pygmy hippopotamuses have a keen sense of smell, and they utilise this to help warn other pygmy hippopotamuses to stay off their turf. They will leave smelly droppings, sometimes with a poo tornado flourish (see toilet humour) around their territories so other pygmy hippopotamuses know they are occupied.

Communication: Pygmy hippopotamuses are thought to be mostly solitary, though they may also live in small family groups. Most of their chatting with other pygmies is done through scent (see above), but they may also chat with sounds such as grunts, bellows, and squeaks.

Favourite Hangout: Anywhere wet and squelchy. This is to say, they love forested watercourses and swamps in tropical West Africa. Most of the few remaining pygmy hippos are found in Liberia, but there are also small populations in Sierra Leone, Guinea, and Côte d'Ivoire. Now these places can be pretty hot, so pygmy hippopotamuses will secrete a pink secretion from their skin known as ‘blood sweat’ to help protect them from sunburn. We definitely know a few people who could benefit from an inbuilt sunscreen!

Favourite Snack: Despite their fearsome-looking teeth, these chunky vegetarians love nothing more than munching on tasty greens like leaves, roots, ferns, and fruit.

Eating Habits: Pygmy hippopotamuses are browsers, meaning they prefer veggies like leaves and roots as opposed to grasses, which are much less common in their swampy homes. They are nocturnal (active at night) and come out of the water to forage on the forest floor for tasty snacks. Despite their chunky appearance, they can even stand up on their hind legs and prop themselves up with their front ones to reach food higher up in trees if needed.

Toilet Humour: Although not quite as explosive as when their larger cousins do it, pygmy hippopotamus are also known to partake in a behaviour known as, ‘the poop tornado’. As they travel along, they will do their business while wagging their tail to ensure the ground behind them gets a nice splattering.

Love Language: The language of pygmy hippopotamus love has not been observed in the wild, so little is known about it. When pygmy hippopotamuses in captivity want to find their Fionas, they will listen for signs that a female is in heat (ready for action), such as restless and loud breathing. When it's time, the male will become very playful, before mounting the female to get the deed done. After making love, they may rub noses and have a nap before potentially repeating the deed several times in a day.

If you see them: Pygmy hippopotamuses are generally quite shy, so if you do see one, try to keep your distance and don’t startle it; you don't want something as heavy as a grand piano running at you. Don’t stand too close behind them, or you may encounter the dreaded poo tornado!

Red Flags: "What are you doing in mah swamp!?" The main threat to the pygmy hippopotamus is losing their steamy jungle swamp homes. Areas loved by pygmy hippos are being cut down to make way for farmland, and pygmy hippos are being forced out. To add to their troubles, they are also occasionally hunted and killed for bushmeat.

Epic Journeys: If you lived in a beautiful, steamy swamp, why would you ever want to go far far away? Pygmy hippopotamuses have relatively small territories that they patrol and feed in, potentially around 2 square kilometres for the men and about a third of that for the ladies.

Glow-up: You might not have seen an adult pygmy hippopotamus before, but there is a good chance you have seen a pygmy hippopotamus calf, such as superstars Haggis and Moo Deng. In the wild, baby pygmy hippopotamuses aren't so prevalent on social media, but will stay hidden as the mother is away foraging before she returns to feed up her little superstar.

Facts: Pygmy hippopotamuses feature in many fairy tales. One piece of Liberian folklore suggests that they carry a diamond in their mouths to help light a path so they can find their way through the forest at night. This tale does, unfortunately, suggest that if the person catches the pygmy hippopotamus, it can retrieve the diamond. However, we can ensure you they don't carry diamonds. Instead, they use their keen sense of smell and hearing to navigate the forest, so if you do stumble across one, please leave them alone!

Who are they in the friendship group: Very memeable.